musings

How do you go back - when in your heart you know that there is no going back?

Though, I know there is no going back and I know I cannot love anybody more than or equally I loved you; what makes me happy is that I have piles of your memory to cherish for my life.

Two year hence, and I still do think of you in my happiest of times, in my saddest of times. I remember you when the life throws struggles at me and at the times when the life is easygoing; when rain drop touches me or morning dew refreshes me! The thought of you is still very familiar and exciting like a whispered promise.

And here I stand with no regrets, or complains at all. :-) - in a hope that someday you will land at this blog.....

each day i have loved you more than the previous day. each day i have realised that nothing makes me more happy than the memory of yours. i did not cry, i did not bothered others, i just gave a thought to you and silently made my way to loneliness.

Your's only juliet...

free me from the cage and take me towards the exaltations

Don't know in what kind of search I am....that ultimate ecstacy is missing from life.....just moving n moving ahead, night to day and then day to night....but towards what?

Some kind of unrecognizable thing is missing from life, what it is, who knows it, ultimate fact remains, whatever it is I am unaware of it.

Some kind of cue is there that I want something, but what I what, has very hazy picture, though I have some hope that i will get that 'something', but is that 'something' is the ultimate desirable thing that I don't know, it is something very random or very specific, is that something that important or that trivial, no clue about it.

What i know is that 'something' can only give me that ultimate satisfaction, which I am craving very badly since months........

No post can be as random as this one...but in some kind of hope that post might give some satisfaction.

Buaaji……..Remembering you

She was my dad’s father’s sister, after the India Pakistan division she settled in Mumbai with her husband while My grandfather with his family in Agra….Buaaji gave birth to daughter which unfortunately died within 2,3 months of her birth…...and after few years her husband died….so she came to live with her brothers(my grandfather)….I was born six months earlier to my grandfathers death….so I don’t remember him at all….and moreover due to me weak memory I don’t remember much of my childhood and whatever I remember major part of the memories are of Buaaji….I have never come across a lady so strong,practical and so loving……..She told me she loved me most and same was with me, I loved her the most ,more than I loved my mother,at night I use to sleep with her ,I ate food from her plate only and she was the first one I use to say Jai sita ram in the morning and she was the one who use to carry my bag from auto to the room when I use to come from school.

Until her death I did not realized mom is supposed to be the most important lady in a kids life, she was that to me, I even remember she called me once and told me to stop doing mischievous since her heart bleeds if anyone scolds me…….She loved kajol in the movie Dushman….she loved Rishi kapoor since his mother was her best friend while she was in Mumbai and they lived on same floor, She told me stories which I still are deeply ingrated in my mind.….I remember going with her to Nirankari Bhawan every Sunday and gladly missing Disney World.

Any of my smallest achievements were her biggest victory, her chest inflated with pride when I recited Ramayan in Nirankari Bhawan and received a pen for appreciation, and also remember that once she badly scolded my cousin because we had a fight(yes she was very bias for me )and also once she scolded my elder siblings since they were making fun of me. I never ever saw her cribbing for her fate, or whining like other oldies on health issues, I mostly saw her doing Simran and reading her religious book, her profound trust on her Babaji and his teachings on Nirakar Swarup of god(Shapeless God) would force atheist to believe in god….she was ever smiling cheerful lady with a kind attitude, her smile had some kind of enigma that one would have to forcefully remove eyes from her face…her humour can get anybody rolling on floor…..her grace blended with her white hairs was eye catching……..and her straight forwardness would let anybody to think twice before talking to her…..but mostly I remember her for the immense love she showered upon me. The Cutest scene of the world I have seen till date is when my dadi(grandmother) and she would get ready with all neatly tiff white suits and white duppatta and with walking sticks in hands, wearing lovely smiles and naughty eyes, to have a visit somewhere and they would hold each other’s hand to cross the road.

I remember she told me once, that she wanted to learn English….and my lessons would start with A for apple….she knew that stuff but I did not know that she knew and she would patiently listen to my kiddish teachings all day long……she once told me that she once wanted to fly in airplane and I remember her happiness when my chacha sent tickets for dadi and buaaji for Kuwait, I cried like anything when she went for two months, I missed her each and every day…..I was in sixth class then……after they came from Kuwait we had a huge tragedy in our family and she proved to be the biggest support system for my grandmother since she had lost her youngest son then…..after that I remember buaaji started deteriorating in health and she had a clue that she is about to die………I can blurredly remember once I was playing in the verandah in one winter afternoon and she was eating food……..she called me twice or thrice but I did not listen so she first time shouted my name and told me that,”You are not listening to me and sooner you wont be able to listen to me since I am going to die”……I was too young to understand this but still I cried like anything hugging and kissing her badly…………She had already told my mom what clothes should be on her body while all the rituals for funeral to be taken if she dies suddenly….she had all the things prepared so that there should be least work for my family to ponder upon if she dies suddenly.......and then her condition was becoming bad to worse and still I slept in her room only because I did not wanted to miss any single moment with her, I loved massaging her legs and her back, I loved combing her hairs, I loved talking to her even when she was unconscious, nobody knows but I then also told her all my school stories and would wake her up, but she won’t respond and I would cry by her side, she remained unconscious for weeks and whenever she would be conscious she wont remember anything but she remembered me and looked at me at times and even sometimes stared at me…..I was not able to tolerate that since she did not talk to me….but my dadi would told me that’s what happens to old people…….and then I remember a day when god was coming to take her…..her body was breathless whole day….everybody in my family since morning had inclination that she is about to die….but I did not know since what mattered to me most was that I have to massage her back and have to do my homework sitting by her side….but that was not so…..she was dying ….my mom was giving her ganga jal…..and she was loosing her breath….i was just shouting and crying to call a doctor and was running to one elder to another my dadi was crying in another room……and last movement I saw in her body was her feet shaking…………and she died…..and I lost her……She used to say that this birth was her last birth, and after this she would attain Salvation, I do wish she attains that but I also wish she should come back to my family to again give all the love, kindness and blessings she gave then!

Want to sleep in solace

I did not sleep in Solace since so long

This sickness has been so prolonged.....

The Dream I chase...

Going through the life's incarnated maze!

But something puts me from it so far apart.....

Is it the destiny or luck playing its part.....?

Its neither the destiny nor the luck being hard....

These are just the phases which soon be past!

And when you would look behind would make you laugh.....

Situations are the culprits which go against you to make sure you learn...

And come out as a Phoenix after that burn!

It is the Persistence and Perseverance which brings the difference between the chaser and the achiever

As the moon brings between the sea and the river!

Let the shine of of your dream leads you ahead....

The achievement of it would make the time so best....

The Honour you would own will make you sleep in solace!

google woogle...!

I am finding finance as a great subject and wonder these complicated things of capital market works just on sentiments,no one gives heck to what does beta says or what does P/E ratio implies,but that is where my job starts.....so all these financial coefficients these days are making me nervous as my Summer Training Project on securities market is getting more demanding,so comes to my rescue is GOOGLE GOD , Google which has become a synonymous of an Internet ,the founders are as great as (for Internet users) one who made Adam or eve Larry Page and Sergey Brin,u type any damn thing and and this Pandora's box is ready with an answer,not only this ,many related or unrelated (containing even a single word of Ur search request)links at your service, i simply wonder how much it would be taking to maintain such a massive database,but that's not for me to worry,for further details on it read (The Google Story).

The other day somebody asked me "what's inflation rate today?" man an open laptop with broadband and this man asking me.....the first line came to my mind was "GOOGLE it moron.....!

Anybody who can answer you question would be recognized as a Google......such a integrated part Google has become.......I wonder some day if my neighbour chunnu lost his pencil his mom would said "beta chunnu dont bug me with asking pencil again and again Google it (usko sab pata hain)....!"

Or conversation in college can be like this

sangita:- "You know yesterday i saw on Google mohit arey wahi apni class ka handsome backbencher has new girlfriend....:O";)

It just striked to my mind that my pen drive is missing....where is it? and my mind answered to me "Google it moron..!";)

Really I dont mean it;)

Recieved as a forwarded email:)......sorry if some feelings are hurt;).........rest enjoy!!!!(if anybody ever comes here;)

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.


Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....(both are equally dense!!)

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!!

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions ....;)

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink..

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract;)

I want him to be the PRESIDENT!!!!!!

Who would be the next president??.........since Dr. A.P.J kalam term is coming to an end in july ..... ...quite a lot of online voting is also going on in support of him........sometime back there was in news that eight year old girl has started a campaign to get him back as a President.
Dr. Kalam became the 11th President of India on 25th July 2002...his term is coming to an end.......and most of 'us' want him to be the President. If you also want him to be the President again, vote for him at http://www.getkalamback.com/.
I have voted for him...... not because I was pretty impressed by his work during his term,not because he is intelligent,educated man,modest ,kind hearted and a great scientist....but I voted for him because i dont want any criminal record 'gentlemen' politician holding this position......yes Dr.Kalam has Visions for India.... but looking back he did not do desired work...which he was capable enough to do but looking at the positive aspect of the thing he did not do any negative work as well which he was capable enough to do;)(we should be thankful to him for that)..........yes he did spoke about his plans for greater India but those plans are not well taken care of he performed as good as microphone performed on the Speakers desk........ but I dont want to push my country towards any kind of risks it is better that he remains as the president atleast his neutral and calm demaeanour is not harming our country ;) and so I voted for him
but if not him then
WHO COULD BE THE PRESIDENT OF INDIA????
A citizen of India who is of 35 years of age or above may be a Presidential candidate. The Presidential candidate should be qualified to become a member of the Lok Sabha and should not hold any office of profit under the government. Certain office-holders, however, are permitted to stand as Presidential candidates. These are:
The current Vice-President
The Governer of any State
A Minister of the Union or of any State.
Considering the above qualifications....I think my dad is best suited for the position:)(I wish he becomes)
ok.....Rabri devi could stand for presidential election,Bala sahib thakre can stand for the presidential election.......oh and Mrs. Soniya gandhi or
Konakuppakattil Gopinathan Balakrishnan(Chief justice of India....in my views Dr. kalam did this great job by appointing him as chief justice) can also stand for the presidential election but if they leave office of profit they are holding .
Mr. Balakrishnan is doing great job as the chief justice god gives him long life and long term as well:)
and considering other people i mentioned Dr. kalam is the bestest (if that is the word;)) choice for the president......

But.......But because i have some kind of special predilictions and this is my blog I want Mr. N.R. Narayan Murthy to be the PRESIDENT OF INDIA.........in my views nobody in India is best suited for the position concerned as this great Visionary who has nurtured and mentored his company......and have made the word 'IT' such a common word......who has made India on worlds favourite lists regarding information technology making INFOSYS the first company to be listed on NASDAQ........whose rhetoric style of speaking leaves a strong mark on every youngester's mind......whose views on every matter becomes 'our' views and each word spoken by him is biblical word for INFOSYS task force......thousands of young generation working for him day in day out...not only for making INFOSYs more successful comapny but also for making India the brand name in INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.......other than those above mentioned qualification to become the president of india what are the other qualities which is needed in 'our' president .........
He has been through the ground realities of life, struggled his way to success
perfect example of rags to riches,hard work, struggle,philanthropic heart,simplicity,modesty,dedicated family man and great mentor,educated,with high standards of thinking and persuasive style of speaking:)........He is one man in India who has clear and stable views on any matter concerned be it reservation which he daringly opposes and above all his voice is heard that could make a difference in our country.......
Agreed that PRESIDENT in our country does not has enough powers but being at this reputed position with extra efforts one could definately make a difference not just by proposing VISION 2020,not just by selling dreams to the people....difference could be made by proposing plans to achieve the dream,difference could be made by working towards the vision and above all difference could be made by including each and every Indian in the dream .

for further reading
http://www.karnataka.com/personalities/narayana-murthy/
http://www.karnataka.com/personalities/narayana-murthy/